How I got here: the short version. Also, what being a freelance writer in the Philippines is really like.

Life doesn't wait for people like me to get an epiphany and start moving. Like all journeys, I believe this one was set in motion a long time ago. This countdown to my business success is a way of snapping out of the long drought after college graduation. I'm tired of living in a montage of hodge-podge projects and drugework that compromise, slowly but surely, my dreams.


1.

Afflicted

In a recent conversation with my friend L.M., we expressed equal parts envy and admiration for our parents who seemed to make things happen for themselves at a young age. I am now in my late twenties, and like my friend, nowhere near the kind of life I want.



L. and I are not the kind of people who would fit into the corporate world. Nor did we have the inclination to take up the noble profession of medicine or law. It was no wonder that I still had a second-hand car and living in my family's condominium with my brother.

Instead, I am blessed and cursed with a passion for a different kind of life. My disposition is naturally averse to daily routines and cubicles and office desks and rush hour and the TGIF mindset. Like L. and our close circle of friends, I am too independent-minded for my own good.

Four years, six full-time jobs and countless hack-writing gigs later, I finally realized that I just couldn't be conjugated into the jargon of the daily grind.

I embraced solitude and individuality -- a concept still not fully palatable to fiercely community-oriented Filipinos. Eating alone in a crowded restaurant or exploring a new place on my own for hours on end was something I enjoyed. I was realistic about myself and the way I look. I never strived to be paper-white or wafer-thin. I also read a lot. And this is an important thing to consider when the majority of people in this country, in spite of a rich story-telling tradition, won't find it in themselves to pick up a book and read outside of the required text for school or work.

That last fact is a symptom of my affliction: a love for the written word, a love for art. If there's one thing I am sure of about myself and my life it's that I want to be a writer.

And there lies the (thing that used to be the) source of my problems.

2.

Work saves

I thought it would be simple for me. I thought it was simply a matter of going freelance and good time management.

My plan was to take as many freelance writing jobs and projects as I could, get paid, pay the bills, save up, and then somewhere in between, write and publish a book or two. Then I would live on the royalties and bask in the light of my success.

But for the record, here's what being a freelance writer in the Philippines is really like:

*You get paid one peso a word per article. This is the standard rate. Sometimes, even less.

*Freelance writers are paid months after the article has been submitted and published.

*Most of the time you can't even look forward to a sizable check after the long wait because you won't be assigned as many articles as you would like.

*There is little freedom in choosing the subject matter. Usually, you will end up writing a puff piece about a cranky fashion designer who claims he didn't say half the things he said during your (taped) interview.

*Copywriting projects are tricky. The bigger and richer the company that hires you, the later and smaller they will pay.

*The client will always work according to his own timetable. He will disregard any signed agreements. (I have met only one client who has actually honored a signed contract.)

*No matter how "creatively stimulating" a copywriting project promises to be, it will always turn out to be drudgework.

*As a hired writer, you will always only ever be an executionist of the client's direction.

*Copywriting, no matter how clever and groundbreaking, will never be art. And it will always be considered your client's work, not yours.

*The accounting department will always find a way to make it hard to claim the money you have earned. (i.e. they will ask for your TIN number and then a few weeks later, ask you to line up in BIR to get a TIN certification -- something that these accountants are supposed verify themselves online.)

*Did I mention withholding tax?

On a positive note, there are dream clients out there.

But they are few, far between and probably loyal to their freelancers (precisely because they are dream clients who have integrity). They pay well, but a few dream clients in a year will never be enough to build a life on.

I never questioned that writing would be my lifetime occupation. It still is. It's just never going to be my job.

It took a soul card reader to open my eyes. My gift for writing was meant for me, not as a way to earn a living.

A wise, dear friend of mine once said, "Work saves." He wasn't the first person to say this, but he was the one who said it to me at just the right time in my life.

He was right, but I didn't understand it the way I was supposed to. Back then, I thought he meant that I should take another office job related to writing. But now I see that our real work saves us from blending and fading into the black hole of everyday.

Our real work, our vocation in life isn't meant to make us financially stable (although for a handful, it sometimes does). Our real work, whatever it is, is our life.

Making peace with this part of myself, I am no longer at odds with my desire to write and my obligation to make a living.

Last year, I started a small business without fully understanding why. Something inside simply urged me on. But now, with the insight I was given by S. and my friends, I am venturing forward with a clearer head and a freed spirit.